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Embracing Your Natural Beauty: A Message For My Sistas

Shalom my beautiful brown-skinned sistas!!! Today I wanted to take some time to let you know just how beautiful you are despite what image is portrayed as beauty to you. You don’t need all that contouring makeup, blonde weaves and cosmetic surgery to look and feel beautiful from the standards given to you by European culture! Lately, I’ve been feeling that the hardest thing for a black woman to do these days is to look herself in the mirror and love who she sees reflected back at her in her most natural state.  Who are you under the makeup, hair weaves, hair chemicals, eye lashes, etc…???? If you can’t seem to answer this question then I’ll help you out. You are a beautiful creature, fearfully and wonderfully made in the image and likeness of The Most High.

The European culture constantly bombards us with commercials and ads (online and print) of what image is considered beautiful and what would be appealing to men. And that image is always a white or foreign women with straight or foreign hair. Through the promotion of these images, they have trained us to love how they look and to hate how we look. They’ve not only trained us to hate ourselves, but to also look down upon our sistas that break free from the bondage of trying to look European to making us think that something is wrong with rocking an afro of natural, chemical free hair. I’ve seen this time and time again; even from my own family members.

When I let my youngest daughter wear a fro instead of sectioning off in ponytails, I often hear comments as to say my daughter’s hair is not done. This often makes me laugh to myself but also makes me feel sad that people are so caught up in looking the part for another race that they lose sight of whom they are. Even with myself, when I’m rocking my hair in a afro puff, I get stares and no comments but as soon as I flat iron my hair — I hear how nice I look with big smiles! This is so funny to me because I love who I am and how I was created; even down to how the hair on my head grows out of my scalp. This is how The Most High created me and if I can’t love how I was made, loving all the alterations done to myself would only be deceiving myself and others.

I must say that there was a point in my life that I did not love myself in my natural state. In my late teens, I cut all of my relaxed hair off to grow my natural hair out and I was not comfortable one bit. I felt so uncomfortable, as if all eyes were on me, telling me my appearance isn’t acceptable for the workplace. I was so conditioned that I wasn’t beautiful unless my hair was fried dyed and laid to the side. I felt ugly because I was so used to getting my relaxers like clockwork. As soon as that nap was growing in, I needed that creamy crack (lol). So needless to say that it did not last long one bit.

A few years later, after I met my husband and we were dating, I decided that I would again try the natural thing. But instead of wearing my natural hair out, I did what was called protective styling until I got a desired length where I became comfortable with my natural hair. At the time I became comfortable, my husband (boyfriend at the time) was writing a book titled, Wake Up To Your True Identity; Becoming who God Predestined You To Be (no longer available). This title fueled me even more to continue my natural journey because the way The Most High created me is part of my identity and it encouraged me to love myself the way that I am all the more. And because my husband was in the process of writing this book, I felt that he would be all for me wearing my natural hair. But boy was I wrong lol.

Originally, he could not stand it one bit and I could not understand why. So needless to say, after the engagement and nearing the wedding, I decided once more to go back to the creamy crack because I wanted him to be happy on our wedding day and also because I felt I’d look better. It wasn’t until after we got married and my husband discovering the truth about who we are as a people that his mindset began to change. Once he discovered who we were, he became a historian and was able to see how White America has programmed us to hate ourselves and love them. Then, and only then, was he finally able to accept and support me in wanting to leave these chemicals alone and embrace who I am. Fast forward to today, he loves my natural hair and now has a desire to see all our (black) women wearing their true hair and letting go of these European looks.

I share all of this to say that for those of you that are thinking about returning to your natural beauty, it may not be so easy at first, but it’s worth it in the long run. This process teaches you about yourself and it also allows you to become one or in agreement with how The Most High created you. And it is one of the most liberating feelings ever! I no longer feel out of place or uncomfortable in my skin because I know that in my appearance, I’m who The Most High created me to be and I’m in my truest form of physical identity.

I dealt more with hair on this topic because it was my most difficult challenge. But yours may not be hair, it may be contouring makeup or desiring cosmetic surgery, desiring the skin color of Caucasians etc. Whatever it is, it’s time to love the person that The Most High created and let go of these European forms of beauty because my sista, you are beautiful just how The Most High created you. No weave, no fake lashes, no chemicals, no makeup, no cosmetic surgery compares to the artwork of you in your most natural state. I love you and it’s time for you to love you too!

P.S.

Mothers and Fathers, please let your daughters know from a young age that they are beautiful just how they were created. We have a lot of young ladies in a loss of identity and searching for acceptance through what Europeans determine to be beautiful. So we must attack this mindset from an earlier age in by constantly telling our girls that they are beautiful just they way they are. And we must train our young boys to think the same; so that they will stop going after Europeans and return back to our daughters of zion!

Author

Ashley Lindsay

Ashley is a wife, mother, hair stylist and content editor. Outside of family and work, she loves uplifting women with biblical words of wisdom. Follow her on twitter for news updates.

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